When I was little,

I used to be able to see in the dark

I would sit on my sister’s bed with the lights off

and point out all the objects in our room

until I had her convinced that

I was magical

 

Now, we’ve grown up and

I am no longer a magician

I can’t see in the dark anymore

 

It has occurred to me that

life is a series of dark tunnels

with light poking through the cracks

 

When I was younger,

I used to make everyone so proud

Now,

all I do is screw everything up

 

I sit here in the darkness

as they list off my faults

They name me a failure, a disappointment

a waste and a disgrace

They think of me as a traitor to their beliefs

 

Every time I prove them right

It’s another shake of their head

another nail in my coffin

another inch the darkness closes in

 

As I struggle to find my way out of the black

I grasp back towards my younger self

and her night vision

Hoping she can help me see the exit with her gift

Only to realize,

I could never see in the dark to begin with

 

I had worked so hard to convince everyone

I had this superhuman ability

To see in the dark,

That I had managed to convince myself of my magic too

I’m blind and alone

while the darkness has consumed me

It’s suffocating and frustrating

and I can feel my panic rising

 

Unsure of what to do,

I remain stuck in this darkness

I cannot flee