Abigail Rudolph

Ever since I was little

I’ve been fascinated by the stars

I could rattle off the origins of the names of the dippers, Orion, Cassiopeia, and a dozen more

All while staring wide-eyed at the sky

I remember sitting with my aunt

Pouring over book

after book

Learning everything I could about these stellar luminaries

Sometimes, I do this thing

where I imagine myself alone

Surrounded by nothing except stars

I find it comforting to be surrounded

By their celestial beauty

I like to think of heaven as the night sky

Not the one you see in the city or the suburbs,

but the one you can see if you go far enough outside where no light can interrupt its astral dance

I like to think we become stars when we die

When I’m outside during the night,

I swear the stars don’t look as bright

In my memories,

the night sky was more beautiful when I was young

Now there are too many lights

Their glare frowns out even the brightest of planets

It’s impossible to distinguish the shimmering orbs from towers and planes

As they are dimmed by everything below

If I want to gaze upon the twilight and its glimmering gifts

I have to recall my childhood’s sky

I wonder if

I’ll ever see the stars again