i.

 

back down here again

feeling

all neurotransmitters and pheromones and evolution

but ants—

do they feel a hardness like this in the back

of their throat like

a little animal that can’t get out

 

 

ii.

 

I fall in love shamelessly, all the time

 

I burn down from my top like a wick

I slip out my side door and lose all my endings

I look down and I am halfway through the sidewalk

on my way to something else, falling

 

and then there is everything that I can’t see

and then there is the grasping

for something to hold onto

 

you disintegrate at my touch and I fall down

one hundred flights of stairs

 

 

 iii.

 

trying to put my finger on what feels so heavy,

I keep taking off layers

but there are always more